Sunday, July 23, 2006

When My Pen Itches

It's a very weird sensation. Every now and then, I go through a bout of this strangest of fits.

I want to write. Just to write. Anything. A blog entry, a chapter of a fanfic, a message on a webboard. Anything, so long as I get to write. It's a nagging sensation, but a fun one also. To control it requires a strength of will I sometimes don't feel like gathering. It comes with being lazy, and with this being the end of a sunday afternoon. The sun is gently shining upon the trees on the forest. The heat is at last bearable after the visit of two thunderstorms last night--and most of all, I'm just too tired to shoo this mood away.

But there is one problem: even though I have a fanfic in the works, and scheduled for completion in September, today is July 23rd, and September is still far away. Even though the characters keep pestering me with little details, with insight on their personalities, I just can't let them overcome me for quite a while.

So instead, I write blog entries.

Most of the time, they're somber pieces, because the world we live in is a dark place for a great many, with the notable exception of the West, Japan and some rich people who enjoy life by crushing the existence of others. Nice leeches, very nice. Ooops, I'd better stop here, or this is going to derail in yet another piece of ranting. Sorry about that. So, most of the time I write dark-toned entries, because they reflect my vision of the world, and because I feel the need to share it around (Who ever said I was a nice girl?). I never (well, almost) speak about personal stuff or about my everyday life. Quite frankly, my everyday life is of no interest to strangers, and is better shared with friends and family face to face. Live, you know?

Still, there are brighter things one can talk about in a blog entry. I should talk about anime and manga more than I've done until now. Hm. Yes, I should. I should also talk more about TV series. It would be fitting, since I've immersed myself in those in the last months, more than I've watched anime.

Perhaps I should also warn the innocent reader who'd somehow stumble upon this blog entry to beware of Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (aka MMORPG). Even I, who never play Computer Games (and I mean that, I don't even own a single one, and I own no console), got swallowed by that abyss. For a few months, I sank into a universe, devoting more and more time to that game each day, allowing it to eat bigger and bigger bits of my life. Welll, no longer. I have other things to do, other interests, and another universe to exist into, thank you very much.

But the lure of those online universes is a powerful one. Before I was confronted to such an experience, I didn't quite understand how you could get devoured by those things. Now, I have a better idea of the process involved. But I also know that you can easily win free of them. In those games as in all things, you decide. You, and nobody else. You decide to earse a character you created to be an ersatz of you. Nobody can prevent you from doing that, but yourself. Consequences on the universe you're leaving? Hey, why do you care? Leave it to the other players, they'll manage. Why worry? That universe existed before you came along, and it will keep on existing long after you're gone. We like to believe it, and to entertain that illusion, but we're not indispensable. In any domain, anywhere.

As they say, cemetaries are filled with indispensable people.

.... Hmmmmmm--we're now rather far away from the subject of my wirting brighter blog entries. Not to mention the title of this particular entry. Although, come to think of it, all this rambling has one source: my pen is itching.

Right now, I feel like writing.



And it feels wonderful!

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